Man in Motion. Part Two.

Another less than brilliant application of motion sensors was observed in the L Powell campground restrooms.  The ceiling lights and fans there are motion sensor activated and have a timer set at 15 seconds.  One enters the facility, the light and fan comes on and stays on while motion is detected.  The light goes off 15 seconds after motion ceases.
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That’s fine if you’re doing stand up business.  The sensor can ‘see’ you and the light stays on.  If your business is of a sit down nature, however, you’ll be sitting in the dark cuz the sensor is unable to see through the stall wall.  I’ve been cogitating on this dilemma and several ideas have surfaced:

            Alternative A: 1.  24 hours prior to the event, eat 2 large bowls of raisin bran.  Remember, you have 15 seconds from the time you close the stall door.  You gotta be loaded, primed and ready for bombs away the instant your butt hits the seat.  You’ll want to practice this technique a few times, using a stop watch, before you go for the gold.

                                    2.  The right clothing is extremely important in beating the clock.  Forget the underwear completely; no way you’re gonna beat the clock if briefs or panties are involved.  Make sure your jeans or shorts have zippers or velcro closures; buttons don’t hack it in this race.  Wear running shoes.

            Alternative B:  Take a broom or other long-handled thingy into the restroom with you.  Ensure the broom is long enough to reach above the stall wall and achieve direct line of sight with the sensor.  Use one hand to constantly wave the broom, the other to do whatever needs doing.

            Alternative C:  Ask a friend to go to the restroom with you.  Women do this all the time, anyway.  Guys?  Well ..... it’s one way to find out who your real friends are.  If you have enough guts, you could ask your main squeeze to help out.  Good luck with that.  Once inside, instruct friend to walk around in circles, in view of the sensor, while you do your thing.

            Alternative D:  Got a dog that likes to chase balls?  Dogs are usually banned from restrooms unless you can convince the restroom police that it’s a service dog.  If not, you’ll have to sneak it in.  Anyway, take the dog and a tennis ball, station the dog outside the stall, enter stall, toss the ball over the stall wall and holler ‘fetch’.  Make sure your dog is well rested, don’t want Fido crapping out before you do. 

            Alternative E:  Buy a helium-filled balloon with a long string, and take it into the stall with you.  Tie the string around your ear.  Nod your head every few seconds.    

            Alternative F:  Cross your legs, grit your teeth and wait until daylight.  A word of caution: don’t use this method in conjunction with Alternative A:1, above.