Saturday, May 30, 2015

Artie II

Aritie's 4 years old now, 28 in people-years, old enough to act like an adult.  However, he still acts like a naughty kid sometimes.  We wouldn't want him to loose his playfulness or his NASCAR routine or joie de vivre.  He's just got a couple bad habits we'd like to see go away.


Ranger and Artie

His main transgression is food related (surprise, surprise): he won't stay out of the kitchen.  Both he and Ranger are trained to stop and sit near the kitchen entrance - but not to enter.  If in the kitchen, the pooches could be inadvertently stepped on or kicked.  And, they could cause Trish to trip and fall, damaging her injured leg even further or ruining her bionic knees.  I could trip also, and old farts tend to have brittle bones.  Artie's no dummy, knows we want him to stay out, leaves when we remind him (numerous times each day) but just keeps going back in.



While her back is turned I'll sneak in, might find food morsels on the floor.
I know I'm being bad but..... might find food morsels on the floor.

Another food related bad habit: when we're eating at the dining room table, Artie circles around us like a great white shark closing in for the kill.  He makes this loud panting sound (hah, hah, hah) and bumps our legs or butts with his nose on each pass.  HeyI'm starving down here!  (hah, hah, bump Trish)  Had my dinner 30 minutes ago but I'm still hungry.  (hah, hah, bump Mike)  OMG, that hamburger smells great!  (hah, hah, bump Trish)  Gonna save some for me?  (hah, hah, bump, bump)


Busted!  Had to go sit on my rug.

Artie had a troubled childhood, came from a dysfunctional family.  His dad was a ne'er do well and a womanizer, was hardly ever home, always out marking his territory and sniffing around stray females.  When he was home, he paid virtually no attention to Artie, spent no quality time with his son at all.  He'd just eat and sleep and mess around with Artie's mom - sometimes right in front of Artie!  Consequently, Artie has some emotional and psychological issues.  

Artie loved his mom and she cared for him, too.  She showed him affection and scared off the predators and bullies.  But, she had issues, too.  I won't go into the details here but what it boils down to - there's no nice way to say this, so I'll just spit it out: Artie's mom was a bitch.

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