Dear Abby,
1. Do people become more boring as they age, become broken records, endlessly droning on about their glory day(s), their one and only hobby, interest or most recent discovery, stuck like glue to the same subject, returning to that subject over and over regardless of one's efforts to steer them elsewhere, ignoring all signs that nobody gives a rat's ass about what they're saying?
2. What's your take on these folks? Are they so self-absorbed, so egocentric that they have no interest whatsoever in anybody or anything other than themselves?
3. Do you recommend any of these actions? Interrupt with, "How 'bout those Cubs?" Close your eyes, incline your head and make loud snoring noises. If wearing sturdy shoes - better yet, steel toed boots - holler, "Darn it, another cramp!" while giving 'em a swift kick in the shins, then shuffling around moaning and massaging your thigh. Explaining the difference between monologue and dialog, dissertation and conversation.
4. Is there a way to make them understand that after a couple minutes the audience is lost, casting frenzied glances at the nearest exit, fervently wishing they'd stayed home, vowing to avoid further contact at all costs, and pondering the slowest, most painful methods of (justifiable) homicide?
5. Is it possible that I unknowingly attract them somehow, that I'm a bore magnet? Should I try changing shampoo?
Signed, Bored in Arizona
PS: Ever heard John Prine's song, Dear Abby? Funny!
Mikie, yes we've heard of both John Prine and Dear Abby. His songs, still makes us smile, and we have most of his music. I do believe, he has made his living by cateloging strange saying and then putting them to music. Your older fiend, Paulette
ReplyDeleteWell, my husband Denny swears that he's a "Goof-ball" magnet. He gets them on the plane, sits next to them at meetings, etc. I guess if he had a blog it would at least be more entertaining to write about a "goof-ball" than a "bore".
ReplyDeleteLaurie