Ellsworth, ME

Regular readers are aware that Trish and I enjoy golf and that we prefer inexpensive par-3 courses.  Most courses are well-maintained and a pleasure to play.  In LHC our favorite course costs $18 during the week but only $9 on weekends, and it’s a fine little course with great mountain and lake views.  Yesterday, we paid $19 to play 9 holes on the absolute worst course we’ve ever seen.

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The fairway grass was as high as the rough on most courses.  There was 1 ball cleaner on the entire course - with not a drop of water in it.  There were 6 sand traps, only one of which had a rake.  The cart paths were rocky, bumpy, and overgrown with grass and weeds.  Last - and least - were the greens, which, in this case, were more appropriately called ‘browns’.  Imagine the driest, brownest, baldest, most weed-infested vacant lot you’ve ever seen, with the dead grass and weeds mowed right down to the ground. 
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We had several good laughs at our own sarcastic observations and colorful comments as we searched for our balls in the jungle of tall grass.  When (and if) we found them, we’d give ‘em a few good kicks, launching them to a spot where you could take your next shot without employing a weed whacker.
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‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’  We’ve all heard that saying.  I think it included the words ‘about someone’ after ‘nice’.  In the spirit of being positive, I offer this: the flags, those fabric things on top of the rods that are stuck in the cup on the greens, were quite nice.  Woo-hoo!