Egyptians don't do lines. They're into flocks and herds and clusters. Wait in line until it's your turn? Unheard of! Join the herd and see if you can out-shout your herd mates. If you holler loud enough - and the amount of currency you're waving wildly above your head is large enough - you may be called up to the counter next. Bribes and kickbacks spell corruption in Western countries. In Egypt and throughout the Mideast it's a way of life, business as usual.
This no-lines tradition extends to driving. The main drag heading into downtown Alexandria had 6 lanes, 3 lanes of traffic going each way. At stoplights, drivers who were several cars back from the front, boogied on over to the left and filled up the incoming lanes. And, across the intersection, oncoming drivers did the same.
So, 6 lanes of cars facing each other. When the light turned green it was one big game of chicken., horns blaring, drivers shouting obscenities at each other. Actually, I just assume they were shouting obscenities; I don't speak Arabic. Given the tone and volume however, I doubt they were asking to borrow a spoonful of Grey Poupon.
Another delightful habit was driving at night without headlights. It was considered rude to have your headlights on at night. This wasn't a problem in town where there was adequate ambient light to see oncoming vehicles, but in the country it was a different matter. The custom was to keep your lights off until you were a few hundred feet from the oncoming vehicle, then flash your lights on and off to alert the oncoming driver. Makes a lot of sense, huh? Suddenly blind the oncoming driver with your lights, scare the crap of him, proceed onward at a closing speed of 120+ MPH. Asinine!
Your average Egyptian driver appeared to have the emotional maturity of a 2-year old. Here's one for you. Heading downtown for a negotiation session with a City official one afternoon, we saw a small sedan bounce off the front right side of a fully loaded bus. The bus driver turned his steering wheel to the right and returned the favor. The little sedan reciprocated. And on it went. Mile after mile.
Another time I witnessed 2 cars meet, head on, in a narrow alley. They both sat there for several minutes, revving their motors, honking their horms. Finally, one guy turned off his engine, got out of the car, sat down on the hood and glared at the other guy. Other guy, not to be outdone, followed suit. Although I was curious about the final outcome, I didn't have time to hang around. I wonder if they're still there in the alley, glaring at each other until, finally, one of them keels over dead and reaps his 72-virgin reward.
Forgive me for bringing religion into it, don't mean to offend anyone, but haven't you wondered where they get all those virgins? Do the math: every day, thousands of believers die honorably. You'd need at least a million virgins in the holding tent at all times. Plus, you'd need several thousand eunuchs to guard the virgins from those who already have their 72-virgin quota, but were issued 6 dozen toothless old spinsters and want to trade up. And you know eunuchs, always bitching about their lack of career choices, cranky as hell. Talk about a major HR nightmare! Allah, I don't envy you your job.
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