Doggerel 2

Readers' comments were positive on the first doggerel, so here's another one.  Gotta warn you: this one really stinks!

MANURE!

This was written for, and first read at, the Delaney family reunion in July, 2005.  My siblings and I relate to manure as only one-time farm kids can.  It’s audience participation: listeners are encouraged to shout 'MANURE!' where indicated.

Making hay is our biggest chore,
Three crops each summer, sometimes four.
A hundred tons a year or more,
And all will end up on the floor.  MANURE!

It comes in varied shape and size,
Horse apples, sheep pellets, large cow pies.
Whatever the size or configuration,
I’d much prefer constipation.  MANURE!

It splats and plops, oozes and flows,
It covers floors and walls and clothes.          
It’s on our shoes, our shirts, our hair,
It permeates our underwear.  MANURE!

We fork it from the gutters,
And wipe it off the udders.
We shove it here, we pile it there,
It tears our eyes and fouls the air.  MANURE!

The spreader flings it wide and high.

And as it plops down from the sky,

We cower on the tractor seat,
And shower in that fragrant treat.  MANURE!

On the day I turned eighteen,
I left to make the college scene.
It’s over finally, in the past,
I’m outta’ here, I’ve forked my last.  MANURE!

In ending this, I should mention,
In case you haven’t paid attention,
Though perhaps I’m just a picky chap,
I’m really not that fond of crap.  MANURE!

Mike Delaney  
6-20-05
All rights reserved.