Side Effects

Three days ago I bent over to get a T-shirt from the dresser drawer when, suddenly, my back seized up.  This happens every few years for no obvious reason.  I'm just minding my own business, bend over to pick something up (in one case, bending over to wipe my butt) and zap-gotcha!  I'm frozen in place, afraid to move, afraid it will bite me again if I do.  I take a few deep breaths, wait a few moments, and then, very slowly and carefully, rise to a standing position by walking my hands up my legs to avoid using my back muscles.

Usually the pain eases off in a day or two and I'm back to normal in 4-5 days.  But this time it wasn't improving so I visited the doctor yesterday.  Diagnosis: inflamed/enlarged muscle is putting pressure on sciatic nerve.  Treatment: MethylPREDNISolone.  I've never used that drug but my favorite youngest sister, Marge, is using it to help her cope with a rare but nasty health issue.  She said that the possible side effects were off-putting, but that it was effective in treating her condition.

I don't normally read possible side effects warnings on prescribed meds but I did this time.  Let me tell you, they're enough to make brave men tremble - much braver men than I.  Here they are: bloody, black or tarry stools; facial flushing; feeling of whirling motion; hangnails; headache; changes in body fat; changes in menstrual periods; increased navel lint; chest pain; fainting; fever, chills or sore throat; increased hunger, thirst or urination; mental or mood changes; muscle pain; poor gas mileage; weakness or wasting; seizures; hairy boogers; severe nausea or vomiting; slow wound healing; rust or corrosion; stomach pain; sudden severe dizziness; swelling of feet or legs; bad karma; tendon, bone or joint pain; toe jam; thinning of the skin; unusual bruising or bleeding; delusions of adequacy; unusual skin sensations; unusual weight gain (lots of unusual here; where's Tom Jones when you need him?); vision changes or other eye problems; harelip.

Trish says it also tends to make people mean and short-tempered.  Medical professionals, who just love to give things the longest names possible, call it ScreamingAssholeSyndrome.