Saturday, May 14, 2022

Kids vs Dogs

Young couples would do well to weigh the pros and cons of having children - as opposed to getting a dog or two.  Let's take a lighthearted look at the objective and subjective aspects.  The objective items, how long it takes, are not WAGs; I researched each one.  Your results may differ.  

Be aware: I've not sired any kids, so I may be prejudiced. 

Objective.  How long it takes to 

Toilet/house trainKids: 18-30 months  Dogs: 4-6 months

Be able to feed themselves: Kids: 8-12 months  Dogs: 8 weeks

Follow simple instructions: Kids: 10-24 months  Dogs: 2-6 months

Safely leave alone in the house for 6 hours: Kids: 13-15 years  Dogs: 1 year

Get them fully trained: Kids: 18 years?  Dogs: 1 year

Winner: dogs.  However, given their short lifespans, you have to start over every 12-15 years.

Subjective.

1.  Responsible owners have their dogs spayed or neutered.   Spaying and neutering one's kids is virtually unheard of - although a few parents wish they had.  More importantly, it would deny the grandparents the opportunity to spoil them while in their care - and chortle when their parents retrieve them.  Advantage: kids.

2.  Dogs are excited when their owners return home.  Kids, maybe.  If they're hungry.  Advantage: dogs.

3.  Dogs alert you to strange noises and defend their turf.  Kids, hardly ever.  Advantage: dogs.

4.  Dogs are warm and fuzzy and cuddly.  Kids also, in their early years.  But those teenage years, OMG!  Most kids grow up to become helpful, enjoyable adults.  Advantage: kids.

5.  Once potty trained, kids take care of their own business.  I've never heard of a dog that could use the WC and flush afterwards - or use a baggie to pick up the business.  Advantage: kids.

Winner: kids.

 



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