Bird's the Word!

Today's the day.  Bird's the word.

'Bird's the word' is a line from the song 'Surfin' Bird'.  On Thanksgiving, the day on which millions of birds are consumed, that song always comes to mind.  Released by The Trashmen in 1963, Surfin' Bird is a top contender for the Dumbest Song Ever Written Award.  Despite that, I love the darn thing, makes me grin every time I hear it.

 The song was inspired by an ad jingle for Thunderbird wine, the notorious, sickeningly sweet, rotgut swill popular with winos and dirt poor college students back in the day.  'What's the word? Thunderbird!  What's the price?  Thirty twice!'  And so on.

Another contender for the Dumbest Song award is 'Wooly Bully' by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs (1965).  They also did 'Li'l Red Riding Hood'.  I love those tunes, too.

What's the appeal of these nonsensical oldies?  I guess it's simply their sheer fun-ness.  That, coupled with fond memories of my college days when the songs first hit the charts.  Or, maybe it's just a character flaw.

BTW, The Trashmen stole the song, were sued for, and found guilty of, plagiarism.

I have much to be thankful for today and I hope you do also.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Good, Bad & Ugly

The Bad
A couple posts back I reported on Trish's arthroscopic knee surgery.  She had her follow up appointment with the surgeon this week to review findings, results and what comes next.  Findings: as the doc suspected, the cartilage is gone, it's bone on bone and there's damage from arthritis.  On both knees, not just the one.  Results: some decrease in pain level but not enough.  What comes next: full replacement surgery on both knees ASAP.

The Good
It's a freebie!  The health insurance deductible has been met so it's on the house if done this calendar year.  More importantly, after several years of living with ever-increasing levels of pain, she can finally look forward to full function, pain-free.  And, I get the fringe benefit of having my very own bionic woman to play with.

The Ugly
Invasive!  Two bones in each knee will be cut off just before the joint and replaced with metal.  Where the metal parts meet, there will be synthetic cartilage-replacement material to provide the necessary cushioning/lubricating - a Frisbee-shaped spacer coated with WD40 or Liquid Wrench I believe.

Due to the invasive nature, the healing period will take several months, maybe an entire year.  During that period, of course, Trish will need to severely limit her activities.  As the healing period winds down, Trish will be winding up: get the hell out of the way or get run over!  Don't say I didn't give you fair warning.

Is there a dog?

It's been 30+ years since I first heard the joke and I thought it was quite clever at the time.  Still do.  Given the vintage, it's likely that everyone has heard it, but just in case, here's the rest of it: What does the dyslexic agnostic ask?

Does the absence of political correctness (PC) in that joke, or my lack of sensitivity in finding it funny - and even worse, repeating it - offend you?  If so, read no further.  How about you and your PC going out for a nice long hike?  And, y'all have a great time together now, ya hear?

For those who are still with me, at the risk of being redundant, I'll clarify my PC position.  If you want to poke fun at me because I'm old, bald, Irish, have big feet, a small bladder or any one of dozens of other flaws and quirks, have at it!  I'm gonna poke it right back at you and have great fun doing it.  I love banter.  If you can't take a joke, can't laugh at yourself, can't help being a PC-Nazi, you have my deepest sympathy.    

So, where am I going with this, you ask?  Here it is: a couple days ago, out of the blue, came this thought, It would be fun to build a dyslexic dictionary.  The end product would be helpful to dyslexics and non-dyslexics alike, help them understand each other better, and the building process would be a kick in the shorts for those who enjoy wordplay.  Like moi.

I'll include new words in my posts as they occur to me and I encourage you readers to participate.  Place your dyslexic dictionary words in the comments section of my posts or email them to me.  I'll publish them in a subsequent post.  To add comments to a post, click on comment, select anonymous from the 'comment as' drop down menu, write your comment (and your first name and first initial of your last name if you wish) click on publish.

Here are some seasonal words and phrases to get the ball rolling: givthanksing, brancerry cause, ffusting, pweet sotatoes, perry chie, creen gean basserole, pacy's marade.

Back in the Saddle

Trish had arthroscopic surgery on her 'good' leg a week ago today.  The knee was swollen up to double size for 3 days and there was considerable pain.  She weaned herself off of the prescription pain meds early on, didn't like the space cadet side effects.

The swelling has gone down a lot, enough to hit the saddle on her stationary bike a couple days ago.  She's hell bent to get that puppy back in working order ASAP.  She's back to driving already, took Ranger to the assisting living center yesterday, then followed up with an evening training session with Artie, aka Little Shit.

Artie did just fine.  Not surprising since Trish has been working with him for several months now, and she's darn good at it, could be a pro trainer.  In fact, she does teach a therapy dog class for the local Pet Partners group.

Anyway, she's back in the saddle and hopeful that the arthro procedure will keep here there a few years.

Moo?

I never saw a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.

But I can tell you anyhow

I'd rather see than be one.
(Gelett Burgess, 1895)

A couple years ago I did a small acrylic painting of the purple cow.  I hung it on the wall and invited viewers to guess what it referenced.  Darn few viewers nailed it immediately, and only a few got it after a couple hints.  The poem is not as well known as I thought.

Everyone in my family liked Purple Cow.  It's the first poem I remember hearing as a child.  Somebody, one of my older brothers I suspect, modified it, and the new version got more play time around our house than the original.

I never saw a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.

But I'd rather see a purple cow

Than get hit over the head with a dull axe.

 
I thought Ogden Nash wrote Purple Cow, and told viewers of my painting as much.  Wrong!  He did do a parody, however:

I've never seen an abominable snowman,

I'm hoping not to see one,

I'm also hoping, if I do,

That it will be a wee one. 

Purple Cow

The painting has a couple things I like: the colors on the cow, the bumblebee on its nose and the cross-eyed/dismayed expression on its face as it observes the bee.  And lots of things I don't like: the tail appears to be frozen stiff, the body's too long - a bovine version of a stretch limo, the background isn't 'back' (got carried away with using a credit card as a painting tool), and the teats are misaligned.

It didn't take long.  A few days after I hung it, I found myself thinking, I gotta do another one.  A better one.  At first I was gonna do another purple cow, but no: been there, done that.  Such as it was.

Moo?

Acrylic on Canvas

11" x 14"

This time, I used an actual picture of a cow for guidance, rather than just slapping on paint and trying to make it cow-shaped.  Quite realistic, don't you think?  Especially the colors.

Santa Fe Fence

If you're a regular reader, you know that we spent the month of June in a condo in Santa Fe.  The weather was pleasant throughout our stay and we spent a lot of time on the backyard patio.  The patio and a portion of the backyard was enclosed with a cedar fence, which was likely the same vintage as the condo itself, 30 years give or take.

The fence has aged beautifully, has interesting grain patterns and faded areas.  

The last few days of our stay, I was admiring that fence a lot, thinking:

 that would make a great painting.

  Besides the fence, our Canyon Road art walk and the paintings of Barbara Meikle (My Idol, posted 6/28/13) helped get the creative juices flowing.  Ultimately, those juices morphed into a whole mess of acrylic paint that looks like this:

Santa Fe Fence

Acrylic on hardboard, 32'' x 42"

October, 2013

Sidewinder

In this case, Sidewinder is a premium 5th wheel pin box, rather than a snake, guided missile or old western scoundrel.  It's the device that makes it possible for us to get the Cougar in and out of our yard easily, and to pull it with a 'short bed' pickup.

Note that the pin arm is at a slight angle to the the mounting box and the RV itself.

That angle can be increased, up to 90 degrees if need be.  

It can be turned manually, using a length of 2x4 as a lever.  I didn't have to turn it manually all summer but always have to do so when I move the RV out of our yard.

The pin is the 2" cylindrical piece of steel that protrudes down from the pin box and locks into the 5th wheel hitch mounted in the pickup bed.  In conventional pin boxes, the pin is the swivel point when turning, serving the same function as the bumper-level steel ball used in towing boat trailers and such.  The Sidewinder pin connects to the hitch in the traditional manner but the similarity ends there: the pin is not the swivel point.

This is the conventional 5W hitch that is bolted to the pickup bed.

The pin fits into the round hole at the front of the slot and is held there by the jaws, which are in the closed position in this picture.

Located immediately behind the Sidewinder pin is a steel wedge that fits snugly into the slot on the hitch.  It 'freezes' the pin in place so it can't swivel.  Further back on the pin box, 22" behind the pin itself, is the new swivel point, which is called a turret.  Having the swivel point so far rearward means you can hook/unhook with the pickup up to a 90 degree angle to the RV.  Conventional pin boxes lack that flexibility: the pickup must be directly in line with the trailer; and you can't make 90 degree turns because the front corner of the RV will hit the rear corner of the pickup cab, damaging both.

Close up of the pin box, showing the pin at very front.   

The flat piece of steel right behind the pin is the wedge, which fits snugly into the slot on the 5W hitch, locking the pin in place so it can't swivel.  Several inches behind the wedge, you see the round collar of the turret, which is the new swivel point. 

My explanation may be confusing.  Use this link to see the setup in action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I6w04tAnm8

You can fast-forward through the hype at the beginning. 

Those are the pros; here are the cons.  First, cost: about $1400 to purchase and install the Sidewinder, and, although a new conventional pin box costs $500 or more, there was absolutely no market for the nearly new one that was removed from the Cougar.  We ended up tossing it into the dumpster.

The other downside is the pickup-to-pin box alignment.  Since conventional pin boxes don't have Sidewinder wedges, there's a bit of wiggle room: alignment doesn't have to be spot-on perfect when you back the pickup to connect pin to hitch.  Not so with the Sidewinder.  That wedge must fit snugly into its slot on the hitch, no wiggle room allowed.  

The Cougar has a mirror panel above the pin box, which is there so the driver can use the rear view mirror and RV mirror to line up the pin with the hitch as he backs into place.  But guess what: that RV mirror is totally worthless when the Sidewinder pin arm is angled one way or the other - which it virtually always is.  You can't see either the pin or the hitch with only the rear view mirror: they're too low.  So, aligning the pickup with the pin is a matter of dead reckoning, luck, and hopping in and out of the truck several times to check on alignment progress.  I'm getting better at the dead reckoning but it's a challenge.